I was recently browsing Instagram when I came across a popular blogger/influencer. I did not follow her, but I had heard of her before. While going through her instagram page I saw she did a post about vaccinating her children. She wrote in her caption something along the lines of : We make a lot of decisions as parents to do everything we can to keep out children safe. Mine and my husbands choices might not be the same as yours, but we chose to vaccinate out children. I am not lying when I tell you she had probably over 500 comments and 497 of them were completely tearing her apart. These comments got so nasty that people were saying things like, she doesn’t care about her children, she’s disgusting because this is probably paid for by “big pharm” and she is selling her children’s souls…people even went as far as to start talking about how she has her youngest child in a front facing car seat. I felt so bad for her, because these people were relentless. A pediatrician finally chimed in and gave her MD opinion and even she was torn apart by someone. I mean they went after a doctor. I knew there were people out there who didn’t vaccinate, I really had no idea how many people would take it to that level.
However, thats the thing about todays world. We all sit behind, phones and laptops and iPads and think we can say whatever we want because its our opinion and our opinion is the right one. Thats not always the case, hence why its called an opinion, its not based on facts its based on our own personal view of the situation. The bottom line is whether or not you want to vaccinate, how are you this mean to someone you have never met. Why are you mom shaming her?
There is a ton of pressure on parents these days, especially moms. Whether or not we mean to, we are constantly forced to compare our children. “Is your baby crawling yet?” Is you baby walking yet?” “Is your baby talking yet? How many words?” And of course my favorite one of all “Are they sleeping through the night yet”. (I F-ing wish! and if you tell me your’s is, I might punch you in the throat) You as a parent are only as good as how fast your child reaches their next milestone.
Besides that there is the constant pressure that you have to have it all together all the time, or at least appear to on social media.(insert eye roll here) Nothing ever seems to be good enough. If you are a stay at home mom, you are lazy and not being a productive member of society. Further more you are not showing your child especially your daughter, what a strong women looks like. After all when my husband and I take someone out for a meal, they don’t say thank you to me. Heck they don’t even say thanks guys. It feels like in their eyes I don’t “work” anymore, there for I don’t bring in money so I don’t even count when it comes to anything financial. However, on the flip side if your a working mom who is bringing in money, you care more about your career and own ambition then your children. Even worse than that you are accused of letting other family members or daycare do your job and raise your child. How can we, as moms ever win? We are damned if we do, we are damned if we don’t.
Lets not get into the fact that you are supposed to fit back into your skinny jeans 6 weeks after giving birth. Plus, you get judged for it. “She still hasn’t lost her baby weight”. “She had an amazing body, before she had kids”. We are surrounded by social media or television that shows up celebrities instantly bouncing back. However, I recently started following Kyle Jenner after an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. (Hey stop judging me, I love reality television). Anyway, I began following her after she openly and honestly talked about her body being different after having a baby and her struggles of accepting it. I really respected her saying that her body was never going to be the same.
So moving on…let me settle this once and for all, being a mom is hard as you know what! (insert your favorite curse word). You can buy a book or go on the internet….it doesn’t matter. What works for one child does not necessarily work for another. Of course not every parent is a good parent. obviously and unfortunately there are those that abuse and neglect their children. That is awful and unimaginably and this post has nothing to do with them. This is to the Moms that are crying during a night time feeding because they just want one good night of sleep. This is for the moms that are still trying to lose that last 10 pounds even a year later. This is to the moms that are dying of embarrassment as their toddler has a melt down at the supermarket. This is for the moms that found out the hard way their baby now knows how to roll over. This is for all the moms that are just trying to do their best and feeling like their best isn’t good enough.
If you are doing everything in your power to make sure your child is living a healthy and happy life, you are not failing. If you need to have time alone once in awhile you are not a bad mom. Lets just do our best to help one another out and not tear each other down. I am going to end this with some of my favorite funny quotes, because i truly believe having a good sense of humor helps you keep some sanity!:
“I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children.”
“Motherhood: Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine.” – Unknown
“Being a mom is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.”
“I only have two looks. Trophy wife or like I live under a bridge and demand riddles for people to cross it”
“Our parents didn’t have the luxury of an iPad to entertain us but they got to feed us Froot Loops without getting judged so…”
“Mamahood is putting away the same 10 objects 3 million times a day”
“Breastfed or Bottle Fed we’ve all hit our kids head on the top of the car getting them into the car seat!”
Until next times loves….